The other day I was driving through the parking lot of a strip mall on my way to a Best Buy to pick up a mouse to replace the piece of crap excuse for a mouse that came with my new iMac. My driving task was made considerably more difficult by the vast number of speed bumps. Apparently we the drivers of the industrialized world are too stupid to moderate our speeds when driving in a dangerous, pedestrian-packed situation such as a parking lot. (Well, millions of people are stupid, horrendous drivers who should never be trusted, but maybe we should deal with the root problem—bad drivers—instead of employing the band-aid solution that is the speed bump.) Sure, the speed limit sign says “10″ and I’m probably doing 20, but I’ve never hit any pedestrians. (Knock on wood.) And why should my car’s suspension have to suffer? It deals with enough potholes (and roads buckling in the heat, too) as it is.
And on a larger scale, they create noise (cars banging over them) and waste gas (people slamming the brakes and then gunning it). They’re just a pain in the ass, and we should spend more time teaching people to be responsible drivers and less time putting in stupid speed bumps that are a pain in everyone’s ass.
P.S. As an interesting aside, in Britain they call speed bumps “sleeping policeman.” Gotta love the way with words they have across the pond.
In Mexico they put huge speed bumps on the highways and call them topes. Going over a tope at 30 mph causes whiplash and regret; at 60 mph, the need for a new suspension, exhaust system, or worse. When a roadside village gets its own tope it is a public holiday. Small children get out of school and stand by the side of the road waving and dancing all day long. A tope can be an economic boon for such a town because it means they can build a mechanic shop and stock a few parts to fit the popular rental cars.