The other day I was driving around town listening to WWNO. They were doing a special comparing Detroit’s public schools with the ones in New Orleans. Some guy was talking about the schools in New Orleans. Except that he was pronouncing New Orleans as “New Orleeeenz,” that hideous (yet all too common) mispronunciation that makes the natives cringe. I figured that this guy must be a clueless Michigander perpetrating offenses against our way of speaking. But guess who the guy turns out to be? Paul Vallas, a Chicago native but current resident of New Orleans as superintendent of the Recovery School District. You’re gonna come here and take taxpayer money to the tune of whatever the hell your salary is, and you can’t be bothered to learn how to pronounce the name of the city? Fuck you, Paul Vallas. It seems like you’re doing a decent job as far as I can tell, but you are now on my shitlist and you will remain firmly ensconced upon even if the students in the RSD magically become Einsteins overnight thanks to your leadership. How fucking hard is it to pronounce it correctly? Hell, there’s probably half a dozen different pronunciations you could get away with—basically, any of them except the ones that make the last syllable rhyme with “cleans.”
In your defense, however, quite a few people make the same mistake. You would think New Orleans gets enough publicity that people throughout the US would have learned how to pronounce the city’s name by now. But, alas, this is not the case. I think that throughout the English-speaking world citizens of a particular place have a right to determine the proper pronunciations.* I’ve only driven through Louisville, Kentucky once, but I’ve managed to figure out that I’m not supposed to call it “Loo-eee-ville.” So I don’t. I lived in Worcester, Massachusetts long enough to learn that the “rce” is silent. I’m not saying we have to pronounce every place name exactly as the locals do, but we should at least use one of the pronunciations they find acceptable. I hear “New Ore-lee-uns” quite a lot from non-locals, and that doesn’t bother me at all. It seems to be the standard among national broadcasters and the like.
Just for the record, this should be simple: “New ORE-lins.” Or “New ORE-lee-uns.” But never “New Ore-LEENZ.”** There you go, Paul Vallas.
* Notice that I said “English-speaking world.” I can’t stand people who try to bring over-exaggerated foreign-language pronunciations into English. For example, some people insist on calling “Qatar” “gutter” or “cutter,” which is apparently the closest we can get to the Arabic pronunciation. But it’s “kuh-TAHR” in English, even if it’s something else in Arabic. Try this: say “Paris, France.” Did you pronounce the “s” in “Paris”? I thought so. It may not have an s sound in French, but it does in English. And if you didn’t pronounce the “s,” you’re a pretentious douchebag. And if you’ve gotten so bad that even I call you a pretentious douchebag, you really need to reconsider the way you’re living your life.
** Okay, it’s not that simple. Because we have “Ore-LEENZ” Parish and “Ore-LEENZ” Avenue. Why is this the case? I have no idea whatsoever.
Or-lee-unz kinda bothers me, but or-leenz is by far the most offensive.
Also, strangely, attempts to pronounce the name in a “native accent” also bug me. you’re not from here, and you don’t sound like it, so “n’awlins” just makes you sound foolish.
why everyone who isn’t familiar with the pronunciation doesn’t just stick to new or-lins is beyond me.
And how do you think I feel when Yankees tell me I’m from HOOston or HOWston?