things kevin hates

Not too long ago a TV show premiered, and within a few hours my facebook news feed was filled with people expressing their love for this television sensation. What show? Jersey Shore, of course. So after a while I got around to checking it out, and I made it through about an hour and a half before I had to turn it off. Otherwise I’d probably have thrown something through my TV. It was deplorable on about a thousand different levels.

I understand these people have jobs, but it seems that their life revolves around two places: bars and tanning salons. These people are the shallowest ever. And they’re ugly, which makes it even funnier. Except the show isn’t so much funny as it’s just sad. I think these people are utterly pathetic, but I don’t really feel any compassion or sympathy for them. That’s not a combination that makes me want to keep watching. The show doesn’t have enough unintentional comedy value for me to tune in. It just disgusts me. I had to turn it off before I lost all faith in humanity. They get drunk at clubs, flash their underwear (or their abs), and then act surprised when they get punched in the face.

And what’s with the tanning? Do people really find that attractive? Orange skin is for muppets, not people. Not to mention that whole cancer thing. These people disgust me. Just look at them:

The guys hit the gym, and the women hit the plastic surgeon’s office, but ugly is ugly and trashy is trashy and these people are both.

Basically, this show has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. The people are ugly, stupid, shallow, contemptible, and completely unsympathetic. And the show’s tone doesn’t help. If the show just set out to mock these morons, it would probably be edited in a way so as to be reasonably entertaining. And if it took itself overly seriously, it probably would be unintentionally funny. But it sits somewhere in the middle and sucks as a result.