things kevin hates

As you probably know if you have half a brain, the English language is under constant assault from people who don’t have any clue what they’re doing. Often celebrities (actors, singers, sports stars, etc.) do most of the damage—they’re on TV all the time, they’re always talking, and many of them are complete and utter morons. And just about every time one of them accomplishes something, they say, “I’m humbled.” It’s the sort of thing that’s basically the opposite of what it should be, like when people say “I could care less” when they really mean “I couldn’t care less.”

The verb “humble” means “to make humble in spirit or manner” or “to destroy the power, independence, or prestige of.” Now, if you just won an Oscar or a Super Bowl, how on earth were your power and prestige destroyed? An athlete might say that he’s humbled to be inducted into a hall of fame—again, I ask, what’s humbling about that? He should think, “Hey, look how awesome I am.” Maybe he has an inferiority complex and doesn’t think he’s good enough to be associated with the legends who have gone before him, but he should see a shrink for that instead of taking out his issues with vicious assaults upon the English language. And people should realize that if they’ve managed some great accomplishment through their talent and hard work in their profession, they probably deserve it, and shouldn’t at all feel unworthy to achieve something. Besides, if you’re humble and not concerned about fame and rewards, why on earth are you up onstage accepting that Emmy Award? Fucking hypocrites.

It’s one thing to be humble in the sense of “not haughty” or “not arrogant.” That’s a good thing. But again, if you’re humble, why are you giving an interview talking about it? Either take the credit when you accomplish something, or shut the fuck up.