I was going to make my first sports-related blog post about how much I hate Ohio State football, but they just suck (2-6 vs. non-Big Ten ranked opponents since 2005) and are very douchebaggy about putting “the” in front of their school’s name. Not really enough for a whole post. Instead, I’ll turn to another pretentious, overhyped, overrated, craptastic team from the Midwest. Who? Notre Dame, of course. Somehow, a long time ago, they won themselves a large national following, probably because people root for anyone that wins a lot (that explains why so many people root for the Yankees or Red Sox for no apparent reason). It may be hard for you younger readers to believe, but once upon a time Notre Dame didn’t suck at football. They won a whole bunch of national championships, but their last one came in 1988. Since then all sorts of distinguished teams have won national championships, teams like Georgia Tech, Colorado, Washington (!!), and many others. Not Notre Dame. Yet their fans (many of whom are unfortunately employed in the media) keep talking about how wonderful Notre Dame is and even how they’re going to win a national championship this year.* Or, at least, they were going to before they lost to Michigan. Please remember that Michigan went 3-9 last year.
Notre Dame’s evil influence extends not just through the media, but also through the upper echelons of college football’s power brokers. When the BCS was created, they rigged themselves a sweetheart deal giving them a guaranteed bid if they finish in the Top 8. Furthermore, they are eligible if they finish in the Top 12, and because the bowls crap their pants with excitement any time Notre Dame is eligible, they have been selected every single time they’ve been eligible, much to the dismay of higher-ranked, more-deserving teams. In 2000, back when there were just 4 BCS games, Notre Dame finished 11th in the standings yet was selected as an at-large instead of #5 Virginia Tech, #8 Nebraska, #9 Kansas State, or #10 Oregon. In 2002 the selectors did pass on a #9 Notre Dame to take #4 USC and #5 Iowa, but in 2005 the BCS was back to its usual Notre Dame-biased self, giving a #6 ND team a place instead of a #5 Oregon team. In 2006, the first year in which there were five BCS bowls, ND finished 11th but got an at-large spot instead of #7 Wisconsin.** They then had their asses handed to them by LSU, 41-14.
Speaking of getting their asses handed to them, that’s exactly what happened to Notre Dame in nine straight bowl games from 1995 through 2007. During that span they managed to lose 41-9 to Oregon State, 38-21 to Oregon State, 28-6 to N.C. State, 27-9 to LSU, 41-24 to Colorado, etc. So yeah, they suck. They’d still have not won a bowl game in 15 years had their sorry 6-6 team last year not scraped their way into the Hawaii Bowl and beaten Hawaii.
Finally, Charlie Weis, even post-gastric bypass, is still a one-man obesity epidemic, and when he appears on my high-definition TV screen it almost makes me nauseous. And I can’t mention how fat Charlie Weis is without linking to this video.
In short, you shouldn’t root for Notre Dame unless you actually went there, and you should vigorously protest the special treatment they receive by getting picked to go to bowl games they don’t deserve. In fairness, though, I will say that they have a kick-ass fight song.
*Okay, maybe it was just Lou Holtz who predicted it. I think most of Notre Dame’s fans have enough brains to realize their team sucks. Lou Holtz, however, is blind with love for Notre Dame, or is suffering from dementia. Probably both. National champions? Really? How the hell do you still have a job? And now that I think about it, I’m guessing Regis Philbin probably picks Notre Dame to win the championship every year, but at least he’s not on ESPN all the damn time.
**They also finished behind #9 Auburn, but BCS rules at the time prohibited having three teams from the same conference in BCS bowls. (The rules still prohibit it unless somehow two teams from the same conference finish #1 and #2 with neither one winning the conference. Not bloody likely.) Otherwise the SEC would just hijack the whole process and the other conferences are too jealous to let that happen.
Not to mention they haven’t beaten Michigan State in South Bend once in the last 7 tries. And for many of those years, we were straight up awful. Gonna make it 8 tomorrow!
Kevin, The reason people like Notre Dame is because they’re the whole package. They’re ranked 18th in academics and their athletes graduate with real degrees. There is no physical ed department. Princeton is rated #1 in academics and it’s great to be in that kind of company. If you break the law or school rules even if you are a great athlete you will be dismissed from school. They have tradition and 12,000 students will compete for 2000 freshmen seats. Notre Dame has the total package – great athletic facilities, coaches and fans. Their fans also treat opposing fans with respect. When you’re selecting someone for a bowl, the selection committee wants to know if the team will be watched and Notre Dame has fans nationwide. Maybe Notre Dame’s ranking may not be as high but then they play a tougher schedule and ranking is so political. When Lou Holtz won the national title, 100% of the team graduated. I didn’t go to Notre Dame, I was turned down because my grades weren’t high enough, but I still respect them and what they try to accomplish. Steve
Steve, you’re absolutely right about Notre Dame being one of the schools that actually cares about academics for its athletes, and for that they do deserve a lot of credit, but it’s a shame that a program like that is the exception in Division I-A athletics, not the norm. As far as bowls go, I’d agree Notre Dame will always travel well, and I understand that committees have to sell tickets, but too often the BCS schools and Notre Dame get berths at better bowls than they deserve at the expense of great football teams from outside the BCS. Notre Dame, by virtue of its reputation, often plays at better bowls than it should, and I think that partly explains their dismal bowl record in recent years. My real issue isn’t with Notre Dame itself as with the fact that they get more hype and press than a team of their recent accomplishments deserved.